Thoughts on life, love, and politics

God's Plan and the Desires of our Hearts

I have been thinking about God's plan a lot lately. I know this is because I will be graduating in just a few weeks and don't know what God has for me next in life. But it is also because so many things I have planned in life have been changed as God has worked on my heart.

This time last year I was planning on finding an inner city mission and joining it. Last summer I had found the mission that for which I thought God wanted me to work. It was an orginazation that I still believe has a lot of good practices, that begins churches and schools in inner cities, and I think does amazing things. Since I am going to be a teacher I fit right in.

Then came a fateful day in August where a certain pastor (guess who :) came and challenged me about my relationship with the visible church. He challenged me about the importance of the church and my independence in regards to the church. He said some things that made me start thinking about what the church was, what purpose Christ had for the church, and what my relationship to the church should be. As I came back to college last fall I still thought I would work for this mission, but I began to wonder. Through an email with Pastor K, he sent me an article on Christ's covenant and how that relates to the church. Reading that article began to change my perspective. I have always heard that joining the visible church is important, but no one had ever really explained why (or at least I hadn't heard it if they had).

That article put a cork screw in my life and I knew that my plans had to change because they were not alligning with God's plan. Anyone who has ever struggled with God's plan coming into conflict with the desires of their heart, especially desires that they thought were from God, knows how difficult that can be. However, it became clear to me that was happening.

I eventually gave up the idea of this mission I had found and began planning to move back to Indy, join southside, and hopefully finding a teaching job in the inner city there. Then I could move to the inner city and have some type of ministry in the community in which I taught. Mom was dreaming right along with me about all of this. She worked in the inner city some before kids and would like to get back involved so she really wanted to help with all this. So I got real excited about this possibility. Well soon I found out there were going to be budget cuts in the inner city school district there and they would be firing not hiring teachers this year.

It seems today that the door has been shut on my desire for inner city ministry at this point in my life. I know that God says if I trust Him, He will make my paths straight. As I look forward to graduation I don't have much idea of what that path is or where it leads, but I know that He knows! What I do know is God is calling me to join His visible church. I know that God will provide for all my needs beyond what I can think or imagine and that He knows each of those needs.

posted by rayhe @ 3:34 pm