Thoughts on life, love, and politics

:)!!!

Last Thursday I went here for an interview. The next day I was called and ask to come back yesterday. When I went last Thursday the only person there was the person interviewing me. I really enjoyed her a lot and thought I might enjoy this school. Yesterday a lot of the staff was there and they were all young and eager to teach. The position I was being interviewed for was a kindergarten assistant so the two kindergarten teachers interviewed me. I really enjoyed them a lot and left hoping I would get a job. I didn't know when I would hear back (I knew it had to be soon because it is a year round school and it starts on Thursday). Well about 4:30 last night I was called and offered the job!


I am really excited about this position. This is the school for which I have most wanted to work. There is a good chance I will be able to get a teaching position there next year. Have I said I am excited? Well staff training is Monday - Wednesday, then our little kindergarteners come on Thursday. The teacher I am working with has taught for a year and a half, so she isn't much older than I am. I think we will get along really well. She said she had heard of Grace which surprised me and made me think she might be a Christian (after all who else would have heard of a small Christian college?). Well all I know is I start Monday and I really think it is going to be a good year!

posted by rayhe @ 7:41 am 3 comments

The Desires of our Hearts

posted by rayhe @ 2:03 pm 1 comments

A Freshman in Life

My first week as a freshman in life is coming to an end. Mary informed me last weekend that since I was a college graduate I was now a freshman in life. I sure feel like a freshman in something. Insurance decisions, job applications, and questions on what to do all require answers that I just don't have. Seems a lot like my freshman year of college :).

The week leading up to graduation was fun. There were some wonderful pranks played by some guys on campus. Some of the pranks were a little destructive and most broke the rules in some way (like being out after curfew), but they entertained us as we sat on the balcony of the apartment. Later I heard even more from a friend on campus safety who sat on the roof of one of the buildings and radioed to officers on the ground where students were. So campus safety was having as much fun with it as we were.

Graduation was wonderful. I got to wear funny clothes and stand around. Then I got to walk across the stage and was handed my diploma! Afterwards my family (well my parents, aunt, and Shawna and Travis since everyone else was too busy :)) went to lunch with Holly's family. Then I stopped by my wonderful roomie's (aka goofy) open house and later Sara's. I made it home without falling asleep (oh boy did I need that Starbucks in Kokomo though... I thought I was going to fall asleep while I was driving since we had been up late the night before with Jewel's boyfriend).

In my first week of being an "adult" (someone actually referred to me as an adult since I had graduated), I have kept busy mainly with applying for jobs. I also met with session to join southside, talked with a family I might nanny for this summer, applied for insurance since I get kicked off my parents next month (what insurance company only gives college graduates one month to find new insurance? Most of my friends have till the end of the summer!), and substitute taught one day. Oh and of course I had to unload my car and move back into my room. Mary was very nice and had space for me to put my stuff this year. So we are both moved comfortably into the room! Who knows how long I will be living there, but for now I am moved in!

posted by rayhe @ 4:21 pm 2 comments

As we go on...

At 2:30 this afternoon I walked out of my last class as an undergraduate student. It really hasn't quite hit me. I know I am grduating and not coming back, but part of me still thinks I will move back here this fall and go to school. I can't quite believe that I will actually be done with school. Seriously I have been in school my whole life. Is there really life beyond it? Well I guess I will still be in school, hopefully, I will just be the teacher now.

As this part of my life ends, I wonder what the future holds for me. As I was thinking about this last night God brought to mind Psalm 71: 15 -18.

posted by rayhe @ 3:41 pm 0 comments

The Hunt

Yesterday my roomie and I went off hunting. We knew what we needed and didn't think it would be hard to find... unfortunately it was a little more difficult than anticipated. I have been struggling with what to wear to graduation because what I planned to wear looked funny under my regalia when I went to have my formal picture taken and I have realized that I haven't bought any summer dress clothes in a long time because I have worked at camp and gone to church there most of my summers since I have been in college. So yesterday we went shopping. I found a beautiful skirt at Kohls. It is white with black flowers. Well I figured I could easily find a white shirt to go with it. Well we had no luck and Jewel needed to get back to study. So last night Jess and I went shopping again. Jess found a whole rack of white shirts at the second store we went to (after I tried on many, many shirts) and it looked really cute. So now I have a beautiful graduation outfit!

The series of "lasts" has begun. I went to my last church service here this morning. I had my last lunch in Alpha Dining Hall.

We have generally finalized our plans for the week. Through Wednesday we all have finals. Thursday is packing day. Friday morning we are going to finish packing and begin preparing dinner for our families. Friday afternoon we have graduation rehearsal. After rehearsal we are going to make dinner for our families, then go to the presidential reception dessert. After the dessert Jewel and I will come back, finish packing and cleaning, and then check out of our apartment between 9 and 10. Then Jess, Jewel, and I are going to drive up to South Bend to pick up Jewel's boyfriend from the airport. Hopefully we will be back and in bed at a somewhat decent hour. Saturday we have to be at graduation at 8.

posted by rayhe @ 2:51 pm 0 comments

Words of Comfort

Tonight was the last night for my Classroom Assessment class. The prof ended by talking about plans. She told us something that "some of us might think isn't very comforting, but some of us will understand why it is a comfort." The words were words that are a comfort and it was a great reminder. She told us that it is ok if we don't have our life figured out because we aren't really in control of it anyway. However, we serve a God who is in control and has a plan for our life. It is so comforting to know that I am not in control of my life, because if I was, I would be sick with worry. Since I serve a God who is in charge of all things I can "present my requests to God" and His peace will guard my heart and mind (Philippians 4:6-7). I am so thankful for that peace God provides!

I thought I would share a quote from my guy friend so all of you could get to know him a little more. Charity seems to have something against him just because he is dead. Maybe this will help to convince her of his worth.

posted by rayhe @ 9:00 pm 0 comments

Who ate the pie?

Last night Jewel and I embarked on an adventure of a lifetime. It was an adventure that we knew would test our courage, but in order to graduate we had to accomplish this task. With trembling hands and fast-beating hearts, we walked into the building and announced our presence. The man behind the counter immeadiately recognized us and knew the task we were about to attempt. He questioned our preparedness and warned us that the sun might set before we accomplished the task. This did not deter us. We decided to attempt it, because there might not be another opportunity. Because we did not know our way we had taken the liberty to find a guide. Our guide was none other than the distinguished Mr. Binkerd. He encouraged us to relax, because we were going to have fun. Neither Jewel or I were convinced, but there was no way around it, we had to complete the task. With sweaty palms we approached the first obstacle. There was some debate over who should go first, but the rules clearly stated the oldest must go first, so Jewel stepped up and placed her ball on the tee. She removed her club, took a couple practice swings, and then sent the ball flying down the fairway. Two and a half hours later as the last few beams of light were fading, we trudged back to our car having played nine holes of golf.

Jewel and I thought it would be fun to take bowling and golf for our P.E. elective. Well it hasn't been quite as fun as we thought. We just found out we had to golf 2 7 holes by the third (the day seniors final grades are due). The only thing we have done in the class is hit some balls on the driving range with various clubs, but we didn't really know when to use various clubs, or anything. Jewel's dad came along for the first four holes and taught us what we needed to do for the rest of the holes. I think if he hadn't come along we would have failed miserably. Since he was there we did ok and actually finished all nine holes. I must say that golf actually is kinda fun, a little frustrating, but fun.

Well when we got back from golfing we devoured a wonderful strawberry pie and worked on our take home test all about golf. What a wonderful way to spend the last "regular" Friday night of our college careers (next Friday is the first day of finals, so it isn't a "regular" Friday).

186 teachers are being fired by IPS because of budget cuts. They are hoping to hire them back, but this is going to make the education job market much more competetive in the Indianapolis area. I am glad God has a plan for my good, because it gives me peace.

Two weeks from today and I will be a college graduate!

posted by rayhe @ 12:30 pm 2 comments

life

Well I had the interview yesterday. I don't really know how it went. I really didn't feel comfortable with the principal. One of the teachers who was in on the interview and I were talking before anyone else arrived. She found out I went to Grace (she graduated from Taylor) and she told me not to discuss certain things when the others came in the room because they wouldn't like it. I appreciated her sharing that with me... but it made me a little uncomfortable to talk with them. They told me they would let me know next week and part of me is hoping they won't offer me the job because I don't know that I want it. I think the class would be amazing and I would learn a lot, but I don't know if I can handle the school. There really wasn't anything real specific, I just wasn't real comfortable with the situation. I am glad God knows what His plan is and is preparing me for the place He is going to take me.

I am officially ready for school to be over. I want to be able to focus on getting a job, but I have so much homework to get done I can't. Maybe I should just go to China and teach... I can get a job there at the drop of a hat since I practically had one thrown at me last fall. Of course I also get emails about opportunities in Japan, Vietnam, and South Korea several times a week... so really if I am willing to travel...

I only have five pieces of homework left for the semester!

I have no idea what I am going to do this summer... any suggestions? (I have already said no to N.C. and St. Louis.... so don't even try those my Grace friends:)

Dale Fincher from Soulation found my blog because I had mentioned him on it after he and his wife came to Grace. If you search for Dale and Jonalyn I am the third website that comes up... it makes me laugh.

Children playing on the school playground right outside my window is music to my ears.

posted by rayhe @ 11:01 am 1 comments

Interviews

The teacher recruitment day on Tuesday went wondefully well. I had two interviews and I enjoyed them both. I got some good feedback. Neither school district has advertised openings yet, but each is recruiting because they are expecting several. Both ended the interview by giving me information and encouraging me to make sure I filled out an application with them.

Today I was called by a principal from Franklin Community Schools in Franklin, IN. I had applied for a fourth grade temporary teaching position for the month of May. I honestly didn't even expect to get an interview, but he asked me to come in on Wednesday! I am bouncing off the walls. If nothing else this interview will be good practice for more interviews. I am praying they hire me, but will not be surprised if they don't.

posted by rayhe @ 5:25 pm 2 comments

:)

I am feeling very introspective today. Perhaps it is due to trying to answer all these sample questions for the teacher recruitment day I am going to tomorrow. Some of the questions are a little ridiculous

Examples - and possible answers...
Do you have a sense of humor?
... um.... no life is serious, I don't believe in laughing ...
... um... yes everything that happens is so funny I spend my life laughing...
... um... yes in fact when I sat down to talk to you I almost laughed out loud because of....
... um... I believe it is a sin to laugh. We weren't put here to have fun...
... um... no I was baptized with lemon juice so my lips are forever frozen in the sour face...
What has been your biggest challenge in life?
... well... when I turned six I really wanted to be in the same math book as my big brother so I spent the next couple weeks working through my first math book and caught up with him.
... um... beating Anna R at a game of boggle
... hiding from the guys in the white lab coats
... trying to end world hunger
Are you a good student?
... no I hate school and everything that goes with it... which is exactly why I chose to be a teacher
... I am the model student, if everyone was like me this world would be a better place
What author has influenced you recently?
... St. Augustine
... J.K. Rowling
... Dorothy Sayers
... Dr. Seuss
... F. Scott Fitzgerald
What question would you want to be asked?
... wait I thought you were the one doing the interview????
... Which came first the Chicken or the egg?
... How did the chicken cross the road?
... What would you do if a student was sitting in the coat closet making monkey noises while you were trying to teach a math lesson?
... Compare the job of a teacher and the job of a zoo keeper.
What school system would you most want to work in?
... um the one that is going to let me teach children...
... Well since I am talking to you right now yours... but in a few minutes during my next interview it is going to be the school over there.

Seriously what in the world do these people want to hear?

Then there are the questions that are good questions but I don't know how to answer. The most important one of course is the - Why should we hire you? - question. I don't know maybe you shouldn't. I think I would make a good teacher which is why I am pursuing this career... but maybe you don't.
I am really bad at this selling myself thing which is what I am supposed to do in interviews. Today is interview preparation day for me because tomorrow is the wonderful teacher recruitment day. I wish someone would just offer me a job. I don't think I am going to be good at this networking/interviewing thing.

My sisters and Ellen Edwards came and visited this weekend. We had a fun time complete with watching a wonderful play (Somethings Afoot - a comedic murder mystry), taking a wonderful walk around the lake, playing the question game in the car, going to my wonderful church, and having fun with everyone up here. I enjoyed it!

Well I must get back to analyzing my life skills... "what are three words to describe yourself?" um... yeah... anyway have a blessed day!

posted by rayhe @ 11:46 am 2 comments

Memories

In four weeks I will be finished with all my college classes. In four weeks and two days I will walk across a stage and receive a piece of paper saying I am a college graduate. It is odd that in just 30 days I will be a college graduate. I was talking to some of the girls from my freshman year hall a few days ago and it doesn't seem possible. It can't have been four years ago that we were sitting in a circle on I1E playing a get to know you game. At the same time there is no way I have only known some of these people for four years. It feels as though I have known them my whole life. But as I have been thinking about college I have created in my mind my top ten memories of college life.

~ Fire Drills - Everyone complains about them, but they sure provided my friends and I with lots of fun. Freshman year we figured out when one was and dressed up for it. From then on we would email each other and joke about appropriate clothing for fire drills, when they would be coming, and the best way to exit a building during a fire drill.

~ Milk - From the milk machine exploding in my hands to Holly and her "melk" (that is the way she says it) milk provided all of us with many a laugh. And of course Mama Tew always knowing when she saw me walk into the Grille that I wanted a cup of skim milk.

~ Walks around the lake - One of my favorite parts about Winona Lake is walking down by the lake. It is beautiful and peaceful. Going on walks down there provides the perfect setting for good conversations with anyone. Although Deana and I went on these walks together the most I have loved spending times with friends on warm afternoon walks by the lake.

~ Caring People - There are so many people in the Grace community who have blessed my life. From my freshman year hall mom, to Mama Tew, to professors and members of student development, God has given me great opportunities to get to know some wonderful people and has allowed them to impact my life.

~ Creatures - from the cat that "mysteriously" ended up in our room freshman year (our RA put it in there as a joke) to the birds and bats that got in the ceilings and walls in our rooms in Westminster, to close calls with Deer on the roads we have had fun with animals big and small.

~ Sumo Wrestling with Deana - This was a little bit of a contest between Deana and I on one team and Brianne and Jodi on the other. We would take turns showing up at the other sides door randomly dressed in some outfit. Sometimes we would have music. Other times it would just be us doing a trick.

~ Weddings - You can't attend a Christian college (probably any college but especially Christian ones I think) without going to many weddings. From weddings we didn't even go to the reception for (the parents didn't really want the couple getting married and the wedding was very uncomfortable so we left after we congratulated the bride and groom) to weddings we stayed till the very end we had fun laughing, joking, and dancing together.

~ Cartoon voices - I always gave Holly a hard time by talking in a really high pitched voice. She just couldn't handle it and called it my "Barbie voice". Well finally this year I have a roomate that understands :) and even joins me in my high voice talking. We do it so much that a couple times we have done it while we are out with friends. Our friends give us a look and we can't figure out why...

~ Girl fun - Living in a dorm for 3 years provided many opportunities for girl fun. In some ways it was like a sleep over that never ended (although there were days that you wish it would end and everyone would go home so you could have some peace). Laughing with a group of friends after a long day is always wonderful.

~ Growing - I will always remember Grace College as a place that I grew. I came to know my savior in a deeper way than ever before. Each year I can point to places where my walk with Christ was strengthened. I can also point to people here at my college who God used to work in my heart to bring me closer to Him. I don't think I will ever remember my time at Grace College without thinking of God's grace in my life as He continues to mold me into the women He wants me to be.

Know I feel like I am an old person. "It seems like just yesterday that..." I am glad that it wasn't yesterday that I started college because I am ready to be finished! There was a guest speaker in one of my classes yesterday (an older pastor from the community) who talked about how he was in grad school again because he wanted other people to choose the books he has to read. Well I am ready to be out of school because I want to choose some of my own books again. I have more than 10 sitting on my bookshelf that I am dying to get to.
So in four weeks I may be down with school but I know that learning lasts a life time! Don't I sound like a teacher?

Have a blessed day! and I am impressed if you made it all the way through my ramblings :)

posted by rayhe @ 2:59 pm 0 comments

Blessings

This past week I went into career services and rewrote my resume. After going into career services I was wishing I hadn't sent any applications out yet because my new resume is 10 times better than my old one. It was really amazing because the new resume has the same information about my experiences, it just explains them much better. After leaving career services I was a little bummed because I had already sent several applications. I was wishing that I had waited and sent my new resume. Well today mom called me and said that an application had been returned because the address did not exist. After looking up addresses we found the correct address. This means that I was able to include my new resume in this application. It is also the school that I am currently leaning towards. It is the only Christian school to which I have applied, and part of me really wants to work there. Now they will see the best side of me, instead of the ok side.

Last night my roomate and I had a lot of fun talking (after we had turned the lights out:) Then we had a wonderful morning (afternoon? day?) of running errands together. I love hanging out with her, being goofy, and yet still being able to have good serious talks. I know I am going to miss living with her after graduation.

I had a good talk with mom this afternoon about finding a job. It is always nice to know how much someone is praying for me to find the perfect job.

I am ready to leave Grace College and I am happy. Coming into the year I was afraid I wouldn't be ready to leave at the end. So I am thankful that I am truly ready to move on.

I found shoes to wear to interviews... they were $7 at wally world. They are black square toed shoes with a small heel. I think I can walk around on them for a whole day. I was excited because I needed a pair of shoes like this but all of the shoes I was finding that would work cost a lot more.

I have my graduation Regalia (cap and gown, I have found out many have never heard that word). My hood has light blue trim (Teacher Education colors) and then is red and white on the inside (our school colors).

I have an interview with my first choice of a school on Grace's teacher recruitment day.

It is spring! Last night we slept with the windows open because it was so warm in our apartments. This morning I woke up to birds singing and a cool breeze... it made me feel as though I was camping.

I am still loving my new guy friend (wink wink Charity :)) I have just gotten to the point in The Confessions in which St. Augustine is coming to know Christ. It is a wonderful book!

Well... I could keep going... but since we are losing an hour tonight due to daylight savings time, I must be heading to bed soon.

Always remember Philippians 4:6-7!

posted by rayhe @ 8:59 pm 2 comments

God's Plan and the Desires of our Hearts

I have been thinking about God's plan a lot lately. I know this is because I will be graduating in just a few weeks and don't know what God has for me next in life. But it is also because so many things I have planned in life have been changed as God has worked on my heart.

This time last year I was planning on finding an inner city mission and joining it. Last summer I had found the mission that for which I thought God wanted me to work. It was an orginazation that I still believe has a lot of good practices, that begins churches and schools in inner cities, and I think does amazing things. Since I am going to be a teacher I fit right in.

Then came a fateful day in August where a certain pastor (guess who :) came and challenged me about my relationship with the visible church. He challenged me about the importance of the church and my independence in regards to the church. He said some things that made me start thinking about what the church was, what purpose Christ had for the church, and what my relationship to the church should be. As I came back to college last fall I still thought I would work for this mission, but I began to wonder. Through an email with Pastor K, he sent me an article on Christ's covenant and how that relates to the church. Reading that article began to change my perspective. I have always heard that joining the visible church is important, but no one had ever really explained why (or at least I hadn't heard it if they had).

That article put a cork screw in my life and I knew that my plans had to change because they were not alligning with God's plan. Anyone who has ever struggled with God's plan coming into conflict with the desires of their heart, especially desires that they thought were from God, knows how difficult that can be. However, it became clear to me that was happening.

I eventually gave up the idea of this mission I had found and began planning to move back to Indy, join southside, and hopefully finding a teaching job in the inner city there. Then I could move to the inner city and have some type of ministry in the community in which I taught. Mom was dreaming right along with me about all of this. She worked in the inner city some before kids and would like to get back involved so she really wanted to help with all this. So I got real excited about this possibility. Well soon I found out there were going to be budget cuts in the inner city school district there and they would be firing not hiring teachers this year.

It seems today that the door has been shut on my desire for inner city ministry at this point in my life. I know that God says if I trust Him, He will make my paths straight. As I look forward to graduation I don't have much idea of what that path is or where it leads, but I know that He knows! What I do know is God is calling me to join His visible church. I know that God will provide for all my needs beyond what I can think or imagine and that He knows each of those needs.

posted by rayhe @ 3:34 pm 3 comments

Windy Day

Well I am back at school after my last spring break as a college student. It is good to be back and see friends. I know I am going to miss living in this type of a setting when I graduate. It is nice to be able to walk down the hall and see many of my close friends. It is good to come back and hear about everyone's break and just connect again.
Today was one of my favorite types of days weather wise. It was windy and in the 60's... but tomorrow it is going to be COLD and windy :( oh well...

Over break I found the mom of a girl I worked with at the mission is in the hospital not doing well. She is the only believer in her family and has asked that we pray for her witness during this time. There is a lot of tension between various people in the family and she feels caught in the middle but wants to be a witness for Christ in the midst. Pray also that her mom would recover.

I applied to four schools over break. Three are charter schools - two of those three are opening this fall so they need a complete staff. I am also in the process of applying for a Christian school. Christian school apps are so much more complicated than any of my others. Right now I working on the essay section... eight questions that I really have to think to answer. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of the week.

I have been making a new friend the last couple weeks. I had a friend tell me a couple years ago I should get to know this man, but I hadn't taken the time. I was at the library and decided to pick up his book The Confessions and get to know St. Augustine. As I have read this book I have realized how quickly I give up on God when I see people I love turn away from God. Augustine's mom prayed for him and never gave up as he continually lived in rebellion to God. Eventually Augustine did come back to faith and was greatly used by God. This book has encouraged me to not give up, but to continually come to God with my prayers. It is also really good to read his words and see how he interweaves scripture into his prayer. This book is quickly becoming a favorite.

posted by rayhe @ 7:29 pm 3 comments

Making Disciples

Charity asked an excellent question about my post on the Great Commission. She asked how someone her age could go about making disciples. In order to answer that I think we better think first about what that word means... That's what I did at least when I read Charity's question... yes Charity... your question made me think :)
dictionary.com defined the word like this

1. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.
2. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy.
3. often Disciple One of the original followers of Jesus.
4. Disciple A member of the Disciples of Christ.

I am pretty confident that Jesus didn't mean that we should all become members of the Disciples of Christ, or that we become one of the original followers of Jesus (that would be a little impossible because we weren't:)

So that leaves me with the possibility of #1 or 2 from dictionary.com

I went and looked up the Greek word for disciple and to make a disciple in that passage means to teach someone to follow another's precepts. So when we are making disciples, we are teaching them to follow the precepts Christ taught us.

I would agree with Charity that there are differnet roles that each of us have in doing this. In Titus 2 we see Paul instructing Titus that older members of the church should be exhorting the younger how to live properly (follow the commands of Christ). Pastors and elders also have this role.

However, I do believe each of us as Christians has a role to play. Timothy is told "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." If Timothy is setting an example for believers, I would suggest he is discipling them because he is showing them the way we are called to live. So I would say the first way youth can disciple others is by setting an example. In order to that we better know how we are called to live and live that way! We should continually be challenging ourselves in the way we are living by asking if we are being that example. Also if you do not spend time with other believers it would be difficult to set this example. Therfore we do need to be involved in other christians lives. As I have thought about it I believe this aspect is one of the best ways for the youth to help in the disciple making process.

I guess as I end I think the great commission has much to do with the quality of life for both the adult and young people. I know from my life, some of my greatest witnessing opportunities have occured because I consistently lived differently and co-workers asked questions. I don't think we can fulfill the Great commission without relationships. Christ prepared his disciples to disciple others through three years of building a relationship with them. It is not a quick process. It is not an easy process. But it is a process that has been commanded by Christ. Each of us has a role... And part of that role for the youth is to set an example, but also to seek to be discipled by older Christians as Titus 2 discusses.

To anyone who is still reading this post I would ask you to pray for me as I am looking for a job. I have applied to two schools. I would LOVE to work at either of them. I am also in the process of deciding where else to apply and what to do this summer (since as a teacher my job won't start till August). I need God's wisdom and peace on my future... May 6 is quickly approaching and I have no idea what I will be doing after that date...

posted by rayhe @ 4:47 pm 3 comments

Why I Have a Problem with Jokes Aimed at a Culture Group

This is in response to a post on another blog. There was a joke that I felt was perhaps not the most appropriate joke and many disagreed with me. These are the reasons that I believe it to be wrong to joke in that manner.
During my time at Grace I have been challenged in many of the ways I and fellow US Christians naturally think because of our American culture. I have been challenged to think about how my cultural values affect my witness. Sometimes it has been difficult and I haven't liked what I saw. This issue is one of those things.
In the Warsaw - Winnona Lake area (where I attend school) there are a high number of immigrants from many different countries (because of factories and farm work). In addition there are a high number of US Christians. This area was considered the capital for Christianity in the US for many years (all the churches including the RP church used to have their conferences here:). You would think this would be the perfect opportunity to witness to the nations in the way Christ commanded. We can do it right here in our backyard. This has not happened. In fact currently a church in Mexico has a missionary here to reach the Mexicans living in our midst. When I met this missionary I began to wonder what was wrong with the people here, what was wrong with me, that a church in Mexico did not think the Christians here could minister to immigrants living in our midst.
At about this same time I began meeting some other Mexicans who came here as children. Now remember all of these people came LEGALLY and lived here LEGALLY. They came to an area of the country that is highly Christian (I have seen passages read from the Bible in public school classrooms and no one cares). As I heard some of their stories I was shocked by the treatment they had from many people in the community. Because they were Mexican they were looked down upon. Often they were thought to be unintelligent and lazy. All of the awful stereotypes that we put on illigal (we claim) Mexicans, were put on these people.
Now these people who shared this with me are fellow believers who are attending my school, or have some connection with me through the body of Christ. Is it any wonder that if our law abiding brothers and sisters in Christ experienced this type of racism that the church would have difficulty witnessing to Mexican immigrants? These people had difficulty joining other believers in worship because of these issues.
As I thought more about my beliefs about Mexicans I realized that I shared some of the same beliefs. I had stopped seeing a Mexican I passed on the street as a fellow human, instead I viewed him through some narrowly defined cultural values I held. I had forgotten that he was a fellow human with a soul, that he was part of the nations Christ has commanded us to go. It is easy to do all of these things when we put people in a group. It is easy to think about illegal immigrants and group Mexicans in that way. However, when we do that, we forget about individuals. We hurt our brothers and sisters in Christ. We ignore people made in God's image.
I guess what I am saying is that Mexicans are made in the image of God. Mexicans are part of the world Christians are commanded to reach. Increasingly they are literally our neighbors. Jokes such as the one told on that blog hurt relationship building not just with the illegal immigrants but with the legal. There is no way to differentiate between the two. When you pass a Mexican on the street you have no idea who they are. These types of stereotypes have hurt people I know and they have hurt your brothers and sisters in Christ. They have damaged the churches witness. They have in fact caused some to think Christians are worthless.
You know the Mexican missionary that is here. Some Mexicans have rejected him because he is a Christian. They do not want anything to do with Christians because they know what we believe about them.
Scripture teaches us the tongue is a powerful thing. What we say is something that we believe at some level. Out of the heart the mouth speaks. Any joke that stereotypes a people group I believe damages our witness to and relationship with that group.
This is an issue that I have struggled with a lot. I know this is not well organized... just a bunch of thoughts. But I ask any of you that read this to think about the words you say and the way it might impact others, but especially the way it might impact the church of Christ and her witness to the world. You see what any of us says has a reflection on any group we are a part of (our family, our friends, our school, and yes our church). Think about whether your words are reflecting God's attitudes or are bringing shame to his name. I think each of us needs to be more careful with the words we use, not just in relation to this issue but in all areas of our life.
I know the particular joke was used in fun, but I question whether God would find it fun for his children to be joking in this manner.

posted by rayhe @ 9:54 am 3 comments

Passing Mid-terms 101

This is mid-term week here at Grace College. A couple weeks ago in my Letters genre (Bible class where we study the letters of the Bible) two friends and I gave a presentation on the book of 2 Corinthians. During the presentation we used cookies to keep people's attention and encourage participation. Well the prof. seemed to get the biggest kick out of it and thouroughly enjoyed the cookies. We joke around with this prof and have fun with him before and after class. So my friend Ashley suggested we make him cookies and give them to him before the midterm. So we did. While the cookies were baking we decided to write him a letter based on everything we have learned about writing letters in NT times. Here is our wonderful letter.

Winona Lake, Indiana
February 28, 2006

Ashley Nicole Masten and Hannah Elizabeth Ray to their gracious professor O’Hare. Greetings! We hope this finds you in good health.
Each week we look forward to the blessing that God has given us to learn from you. We are thankful that God has blessed you to convey messages about Himself.
As you know from your experience as a student, midterm time is difficult for any student. We have studied individually, in groups, e-mailed you to gain clarification, and made study sheets. We also recognize that as you grade papers it is strenuous to continually write “A’s” on papers. In order to aid you in your “A” writing stamina, we are providing you with some energy in the chocolate chip cookie form.
Throughout our college experience, we have observed that it is much easier to write a “C” than an “A”. We have seen friends study long hours only to receive the dreaded “C”. Therefore, we are hoping to provide our professors with the energy they would need to complete the pen strokes necessary for an “A”.
Many professors believe that giving out to many A’s means they are to easy. However, students spend hours studying and as you have seen we have done this. Therefore, a great many students receiving an “A” does not show low quality in the professor, but diligence in the students.
We are asking you to please remember the stress of midterms as you grade these tests.
Greet your wife and sons with a holy kiss. Bob and Kathy Masten and Bruce and Betty Ray send their greetings and thanks for your participation in their children’s academic success.

We were excited to get to class tonight. When we got there he wasn't there yet so we left the cookies and the letter (tied up to look like a scroll) sitting on the podium for him to find when he got there. Well a few minutes before class was supposed to start the chair of the Bible department walked in and said he would be giving us our exam. Now I knew most of the Bible department would not find this funny but I didn't know this guy well enough to know if he would. Well Ashley is braver than I am, so she went up to ask if he was going to see our prof that week. He said he wouldn't and she explained to him everything and told him he had to read the letter. He found this letter so funny, and decided to read it to the whole class. He ends by saying "Some might call this brown nosing, but I call it creative".

So yes you read correctly... The way to pass midterms is to bribe your way through it! I just wish I could be there when Prof O'hare reads it because he is going to think it is funny...

Well I must get back to working on stuff for this week... one more test and project... a couple class periods and then it will be spring break...

posted by rayhe @ 8:45 pm 2 comments

The Great Commission

In my last post I mentioned Dale and Jononlyn Fincher and their ministry. I have been thinking about another thing he discussed during one of our conversations. He talked about how few really strive to follow the Great Commission. Many have taken this passage and watered it down to mean that the Christian's goal in life is to get people saved. This leads to all kinds of wonderful revivals and camp salvation stories. However, we then have all these "christians" who are not living any differently. This has completely affected the church to the point that there often is not a distinction between a Christian life and lives of those in the world.

In the conversation he contributed this in part to a lack of understanding of the Great Commission. As I said earlier many people believe this means the goal of the Christian should be to get people saved. Well what does the passage actually say?

posted by rayhe @ 4:46 pm 5 comments

Faith and Life

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the future and where God wants me. This is in a lot of ways natural because I will be graduating in 82 days according to the countdown calander. It is odd to realize in 82 days I don't know what I will be doing. This is where faith comes in.
As I have been thinking about this, we had a couple come in to speak in chapel last week. Dale and Jonalyn Fincher have started an organization with a motto of "Sturdy answers, better souls". You can find their website here (he has written a wonderful article on why the Movie "The Lion the Witch and the Waredrobe" was so dissappointing... I mentioned in a conversation with him how I didn't like the movie as well as the book and he told me to read the article and I loved it :)) Anyway as a friend and I were talking to Dale one evening, he talked about the concept of faith and how it has gotten so twisted in Christian minds. It has become a "feeling" that the Holy Spirit gives us. He argued that was a complete twisting of scripture. The concept of "a leap of faith" or "childlike faith" were concepts that went against the word of God.
Now I am going to make a huge jump over to a Bible project I just had... and if anyone is reading it I will put it all together in the end (I think). For my Bible elective I am taking a class where we are studying the letters of the Bible (the epistles). In that class we had a group project where we were supposed to explain one of these books. My group chose 2 Corinthians and I was assigned the job of analyzing about 5 verses and explaining the theology of those verses. The verses I chose to do was 2 Cor. 4: 16 - 5:5. In this passage Paul argues that even though they are experiencing suffering they have hope. What I found interesting in this passage was that this hope or faith was not a feeling. It was in spite of what he was feeling. Instead it rested on the fact that Christ said in John that he was going to build a heavenly home for us and that the Holy Spirit was being sent to guarentee our heavenly home. As I was studying the issue of faith and hope based on this letter I went over to Hebrews 11:1 where we see a definition of faith. As we read the chapter we recognize that all these examples of faith never acted on a feeling. Instead, they believed the promises of God and grasped them in their life.
As I was talking with Dale all this came to mind and it began to make sense a little more. Faith is not a leap. Faith is not something that just occurs. Faith is knowing and trusting the promises of God and living life in light of those promises even when everything around you is telling you otherwise (just as Paul did as he wrote 2 Corinthians). So even when I feel as though I am lost and no one knows where I should go, the promises of God tell me that he will direct my paths, that he will make my paths straight, that he has a plan. Even though in 82 days I will have a college diploma and not know what I am going to do with it, God knows, and it is my responsibility to grasp those promises and live in faithfulness to him in the meantime. And even on those days that I don't know if I can trust God and decide I know what is best, I can look back at the people of faith mentioned in Hebrews 11 and see that although they showed great faith they also stumbled, and yet God didn't give up on them.

If anyone wants a good laugh check out Charity Blackwood's blog. The post I am talking about is the Terrible, Horrible, No good, Very bad day. If you have never read that book you may not enjoy it as much as I did. But don't despair, go to the local library I am sure they have the book. It will take you five minutes to read and you will be a much better person for having read it. Then you can go to Charity's post and enjoy the humor in it.

posted by rayhe @ 4:31 pm 0 comments

lots of stuff...

Well I have been thinking a lot recently, which may be quite dangerous so I won't blame you if you duck.

This week was hip hop week in chapel. We had two speakers who have studied this culture come in and share with us things that it tells us about ourselves (christians). These two men are well known men in inner city ministry groups. They really made me think a lot. I have enjoyed rap music to some extent for awhile because I really think it is thought provoking. The people who write it really know they are looking for and can explain in human terms why they haven't found it. During chapel these men used the words of rappers to show problems in the church (that are quite real) and then addressed those problems with scriptural answers. Although I didn't agree with all the conclusions these men made I appreciated that they were willing to honestly look at a culture and seek to understand it. We as Christians are often quick to judge a culture as bad and therefore have nothing to do with it. But aren't we called to go and be witnesses in the dark places. There is a lot of trash in rap music but there is also a lot of true hurtful life experiences.
One of the most interesting songs we discussed was one in which the rapper states "curiosity killed the catechism" (all the lyrics to the song can be found here). This song really is an idictment on many ways that we minister. He knows that religion should be a lifestyle but what he is seeing isn't that. He knows that there is truth but all he sees is people memorizing catechism. Ministry in general and particuarly inner city ministry deserves many of the charges this man brings forth. This week just reminded me again of the importance of listening to culture as they discuss the church. There is truth in what unbelievers are saying about us. Instead of listening we are condeming them as evil.

Graduation is less than 100 days away (more like 90 now)... My roomate has a countdown calander and if it is correct 91 days. Since that is including the breaks we have left I probably have less than 80 days left to spend on this campus. It is really quite sad. I really can't imagine leaving here and never coming back. This place has been a refuge for me. It has been a safe place to grow and change. It has been the place that I have called home for the last few years. In a few short weeks my friends and I will be graduating and moving all over the country maybe even the world. It is times like this that I wish I had a button that I could slow down time with. But I know life keeps going and God has an amazing place planned for me and I am excited about that!

I wish I knew where I was going to get a job next year. My roomates mom works for a school district between Peru and Kokomo Indiana (near where the CYA conference is) and she told me last night there is a 3rd grade position opening up there. As my roomate and I talked about it I again realized how much I want to live in Indianapolis. During the conversation I realized that most likely I could at least get an assistant teaching position in the fall. If I got an in like that hopefully by Christmas a head teacher position would open up that I could take.

My new favorite verse is Col. 3:3 For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Well I have lots of children's books to read for my children's lit class, so I will leave you with that!

posted by rayhe @ 1:08 pm 1 comments

random thoughts

~ I really enjoy college life

~ I am going to be sad to graduate in May

~ However, graduation day will be exciting!

~ I like going to a Christian college

~ Chapels are one of my favorite things about my school

~ Chapel times are always challenging ~ this past week and this coming week are "Spiritual Discipline Weeks" in chapel, so chapels have been especially challenging!

~ I hope that some weekend soon I can stay on campus for the whole weekend

~ I wish I knew exactly what was next for me in life

~ I am glad God knows exactly what is next for me in life

~ 24 (on Fox) is a wonderful show! - if you haven't seen it, it is on at 8 on Monday nights... watch two episodes and see if you aren't addicted

~ it seems that no one reads my blog... or those that do simply have no thoughts about my previous comment ... thanks to the providers of spam comments though!

~ I have been thinking about the previous entry a lot. I was thinking about it even before I read that quote. If I am reading that quote correctly Edward's is arguing that if you are not part of the visible church (a church member?) you are part of the kingdom of satan. Because of a lot of things I have been thinking about church membership (things = studying fellowship/community issues for a seminar I co-led, reading a recommended book called "Stop Dating the Church", struggling with para-church organizations in light of scripture, and a pastor who came along right after all these things occured and challenged me to join a church). So when I came across Edward's writing on this subject it challenged me even more.

~ Really I write because it helps me think ... but if you do read this and have any thoughts on the previous post I would love to hear them!

~ Well those are my random thoughts for the day!

posted by rayhe @ 5:18 pm 1 comments

What do you think???

I just read this quote and am not quite sure how to take it... What do you think?

The whole world of mankind is divided into these two sorts: those that are God’s visible people and those that are of the visible kingdom of Satan. ~ Jonathon Edwards

posted by rayhe @ 7:46 pm 1 comments

Break

It is getting closer and closer to the end of the break... which also means it is getting closer and closer to the start of my last semester of college. It is so wierd that my college career is almost over. Soon I am going to have to really be an adult.

I have kept myself busy over break. I have worked on getting my college portfolio online... getting closer to putting it up. I have created a resume. I have also begun applying for my first real job. It is in the Westfield school district (just north of Carmel). It is not the district I have dreamed of working in. I really want to work in IPS because I love the inner city but Westfield is the only district with advertised openings right now.

Over Christmas my Uncle (who is not a Christian), told me that it was a mistake to want to work and live in the inner city. He told me that if I wanted to work there that would be fine but I need to live somewhere were I "won't wake up every morning wondering if my car is still there, or come back to my house at night not knowing if someone was inside or whether my things were going to be there. You don't need that type of stress." So I have thought about that a lot. How our priorities are so different that I think it is vital that I live there and I am willing to have that type of stress in my life. Because of him talking about keeping my things safe as a reason to live in the subarbs not in the city, I had to laugh Wednesday morning. You see Wednesday morning we discovered that my radio was stolen out of my car (which was parked in our driveway, on the "safe" side of town, with a security light right above it) sometime Tuesday night. It reminded me again that the feeling of safety that I have in the subarbs is really just that. It reminded me that "some trust in horses and some in chariots, but we boast only one defense the name of God the Lord most high". The radio being stolen was annoying but it really was a good reminder of what is really important.

Yesterday Pastor Keddie spoke in the morning on the parable of the sower. It was a really encouraging sermon. He talked about how it really is more a parable about the soil. It was Christ teaching his disciples about the different types of responses they will receive when they share Christ. Also because Christ is really the sower it is the responses that he received. The part that was really encouraging was the plant that grows up quickly but then falls away. Christ never said that that was the sowers fault it was just a statement of a possible response. I recognized some of the youth I have worked with in the inner city in that. It is discouraging to me to see a girl that I studied the Bible with and helped to disciple who was on fire for God choose and state that she was choosing to live in contradiction to what she knows the Bible teaches. It is difficult to see a boy who I have had worked with my entire time at the mission turn to a life of drugs and criminal activity. It makes me want to figure out what I and the rest of the people at the mission did wrong. If we did it right they would stay committed to the walk they claimed to have. So I just need to figure out what I did wrong. The truth is that is a possible response to the message. It is my responsibility to proclaim truth, some of that will fall on fruitful ground, some will not but I must proclaim.

Well I think that about sums up my break... Mary wants me to take her to Goodwill... so maybe I will do that...

posted by rayhe @ 11:01 am 0 comments

$1000 fine and other matters

Well the story of the $1000 fine is quite the tale... It may go down in Grace College fine tales. It all began with two mischevious girls. Of course one of them was yours truly... the other was my roomate.
Setting... Kent Hall, Apartment 208 on a cold night. It had been cold for seemingly months on end (at least a week) so the girls were getting cabin fever. What should they do to get some restless energy out? Finals were looming. There was no place to warm up. And they were stressed. Mischevious ideas were thrown around but nothing was decided upon. While Jewel worked on homework, Hannah pulled out the bedtime story and attempted to read it. When the story was over (it was interrupted time and time again by a certain mischevious girl) it was bedtime. So of course being the good child she is, Hannah went right to bed. Well mischevious Jewel kept talking to her... anyone who has spent much time with these two knows that talking is often done in Barbie voices and often turns into high pitched disagreements (which are always sssooooo serious (sarcasm...)). Well tonight was no different and Jewel soon ordered Hannah out of the apartment because of some smart remark... Hannah fled their room in terror and ran to the other bedroom to seek help from the two other girls in the apartment. Jewel soon followed pointing to the door and informing Hannah that she should be out of the apartment. Hannah saw an opportunity and was able to run back to their room and lock the door. Jewel ran after her but was to late. Being the nice roomate she was Hannah realized Jewel still needed to study so she thoughtfully pushed all Jewel's study items under the door... she even shoved the blanket Jewel was using to stay warm under. Jewel was on the other side of the door yelling about how she could just pick the lock. Hannah felt that this was imposible because although most locks at Grace can be picked this lock was different and would be difficult to pick. Sure enough try as she might Jewel could not get in. Hannah contentedly curled up in bed to sleep. The noise that Jewel was creating outside of the door made it very difficult to sleep... Eventually Hannah unlocked the door and allowed Jewel back in so she could get a moments peace. Eventually Jewel calmed down enough to allow Hannah (and the rest of the apartment) to get some sleep. Well this morning as I walked out into our dining area I saw two fine slips on the table. Imagine my shock when I saw it had my name on it. I had made it through three years at Grace without any type of fine. As I read the fine I discovered it was for disturbing the peace. Apparently my RA had gotten wind of the occurences. Because "disturbing the peace" is a serious issue here at Grace (but especially in Kent Hall because of the privledge of living here) this is a serious offence. They have never heard of apartment mates fighting to this extent and it must be dealt with severely... So here I am trying to figure out how to pay a $1000 fine in the next four days.
(all of the events occured exactly as recorded from the perspective of the author... the other character in the story has a slightly different recolection of the events... but who can believe her... she was in the circus)

Ok anyway... I hope you enjoyed the story... my roomate and I really have a great relationship (she just told me she hates me). Oh the joys of dorm living! Seriously though we do have a great relationship... but if some people watched our interactions they probably wouldn't think so :)

This week is school spirit week. Monday was our favorite book charactor day... I dressed up as Wilbur the pig from Charlotte's Web. Tuesday was "What you want to be when you grow up". I had several different plans for outfits but because of the whether (it is freezing here) I didn't want to wear any of them so I put my warmest clothes on and said "I want to be warm when I grow up. Today was mismatch day and oh boy did I mismatch. I started with a blue and whited striped shirt and a black sweater with light blue embroidery around the zipper. On the bottom half of my body I wore blue polka dot pants with a blue flower skirt on top, a different patterned toe sock on each foot and different shoes. One side of my hair was in a high pig tail bun while the other side was down and pulled away from my face with a bobby pin. Let me just say standing in the parking lot scraping my car off this morning with my apartment mate (who looked just as ridiculous as me) was fun... People are not quite awake on their way to eight o'clock classes so there were some great looks as they weren't quite sure of what they were seeing.

Please pray for one of my students who is in the hospital because his appendix exploded inside him... he is getting better though!

Have a great day!

posted by rayhe @ 7:29 pm 0 comments

:(

Wednesday at lunch I found out my most difficult student of this semester was leaving my school. The whole school was rejoicing that this child was leaving... I was about ready to cry. I know it sounds so strange. This child has made so many of my days difficult. He has made me want to give up. He has caused me grief. But he has also caused me inexpresable joy. You see because of his behavior problems I have spent a lot of time talking to him when he wasn't allowed to go to various activities because of his actions. I have watched him go from a boy who defied the world to one who thought about what he was doing, until finally two weeks ago I saw that he felt bad for his actions. He came in as a boy who looked miserable. He acted as though no one cared. Before he left Wednesday I told him how sad I was that he was leaving and he gave me another hug and said "that is for Monday". When you watch a child grow from the point of hating the world and doing whatever he wants to recognizing that his actions impact others and he should take responsibility for his actions it is amazing. I honestly developed a deep love for this child and I will miss him.
This child taught me to think so much about what grace and love is. He taught me to think about why I love. He taught me the need to pray continually. He challenged me to give him another chance when I wanted to give up on him. And in all of this I realized the grace and love Christ shows me. I realized that Christ shows me love not because of anything I had done but because of his mercy. He loved me while I was still a sinner so as I live like Christ did I must love those who are still sinners. Working with this boy everyday reminded me how easy it would be for Christ to give up on me, but yet he doesn't. Having this child in my classroom this semester has prepared me to deal with difficult students and it has strengthened my relationship with my savior. He is a child that I will not soon forget. He is a child that needs me to continue praying for him.

I have spent today working on my senior project... and it still needs a lot of work. The written part of the project is well over 20 pages. After that I probably have at least 75 pages of supporting documents. Once I get all that completed and put in a logical order I have to work on a twenty minute oral presentation. Monday night I will present this... and then my sememster will pretty much be over. I will still have a little over two weeks but I honestly won't have much to do. Right now though I must press on to finish this project!

posted by rayhe @ 5:11 pm 0 comments

Question...

ok... try to follow me... I have a philosophy question, but don't be scared... I don't think it is to deep... I think it is somewhat interesting...
Term you need ... Existentialism meaning "existence preceeds essence". This means there is no purpose until you create it.
This semester I have been puzzled all semester with why many people base a childs value based on their actions. Now I completely understand having difficulty working with a child or becoming frustrated, even angry, with a child... believe me I have five students who shock the school based on their behavior. But they honestly don't think mis-behaving students are valuable. This morning I began rereaching "Don't Waste Your Life" by: John Piper (an excellent book by the way... my church here read it together last year)... anyway.... In the first chapter he discusses existentialism a little bit. This is the note I wrote down after I read this and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
"Does exestentialism effect the way we view students? If existence preceeds essence then the child has no value until he acts valuable. There is no intrinsic value in that child. If he never acts valuable then he isn't valuable. My Christian worldview states that a child is valuable because he is made in the image of God. He or she is also a gift from that same God"
Does this make sense to anyone? Is exestentialism what is causing the widespread belief that some children are not valuable?

I was observed again today:) The person who observed me today had never been to my class before. I just really enjoy how everyone who comes to my class says the same thing... "You have so many immature boys" "How do you handle this everyday?"

Well that is all... my thoughts for the day... Aren't you all glad you don't have to live in this head? :)

posted by rayhe @ 4:44 pm 1 comments

random thoughts ... in no particular order

22 days left of student teaching!

school counselors are some of the neatest people (at least the one at Lincoln Elementary is a huge blessing!)

I love going to a school where I know my professors and other classmates are praying for me... I have discovered just this week how many people on campus know some of the things I have been going through this semester and have been praying for me... what a blessing!

I am getting paid for tomorrow because my supervising teacher will be gone so I am the sub :)

I graduate from college in less than six months and have no idea what I will be doing (I have been offered a summer job ... that I might accept... but beyond that....)

My senior presentation is in two weeks and I am not nearly finished with it (Thanksgiving Break will definately be a time to finish!)

I never thought I would like the name Miss Ray... but hearing little children I love call me that is so sweet!

Next semester I have no classes on Friday (and only one class on Monday and Wednesday!)

I will also only be taking 14 credits... Until this point I have taken at least 17 credits

The school counselor has offered me the use of her office to come and have lunch with my students next semester whenever I want because she doesn't want them to lose my influence.

Book orders have got to be the most addicting things... I love getting new childrens books!.... good thing I am taking childrens lit next semester so I can start to organize them

As a result of classroom management issues I have spent a lot of time thinking about God's discipline and grace... if we are supposed to be like Christ, the way I discipline students must have some scriptural basis... I can't overtly tell them about God but I can show them Christ in my actions!

I love having a kitchen to use whenever I desire

I really want to move into the inner city... but actually doing it is a little scary...

My roomate and I are going to ruin our voices because of the funny tones we continually talk to each other in... if only she would sleep we could stop the game :)

I have officially dealt with my first migraine while teaching ("Miss Ray you don't look like you feel well" "Miss Ray don't throw up" no worries I didn't... but I did feel and I am sure look awful I made it through teaching the last 45 minutes of the day and then it was off to bed for Miss Ray)

Grace College has no control over where student teachers are placed... which explains a lot of the questions in my mind about my placement.

So there you have it... that is my life at this point :) Have a blessed day

posted by rayhe @ 4:01 pm 0 comments

why student teaching is difficult

I have never felt so many different emotions in my life. I don't ever want to go back to the class I am working with for several reasons that I can't really talk about because it would break the confidentiality code of student teachers. However, I do not ever want to leave the students in the class I am working in. I love each and every one of them in their own unique ways.
I had an assistant that I have known my whole time at Grace (she was my hall mom freshman year) tell me that she didn't even realize I have been stressed this semester. That was a relief because I don't want to be walking around the school letting students know how stressed I truly am. She went on to say that she understands exactly why (and she didn't even know I had behavior issues in my class... she knew the true reason for the stress). It makes me feel better that everyone who has experienced the person causing me stress understands why I am struggling. As my college advisor said this week while she was there on a visit "I hope you are realizing more everyday that you aren't the problem". While I am... it is a continual frustration because it would be easier to just change the thing I was doing to cause the problem where as in this I can't because it is not in my power to change the situation. And then I wonder why my college put me in this situation since they seem to have known about the problem...
The only thing I can do is follow the commands of Christ... to love those who mistreat you... to count it all joy when I face various trials, because I know that the testing of my faith produces perseverence!... to rejoice always and pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances... to not be anxious about everything but give it over to God in prayer so he can give me peace... to live a life in front of the world above reproach...
The thankful for things is the one that is probably easiest for me right now... I am thankful for my college supervisor, full of encouragment, even if she doesn't have answers and is just as frustrated with the situation as I am... I am thankful that God gave me students this semester who needed to experience unconditional love along with loving limits... I am thankful for a roomate and apartment mates that are fun and ready to encourage... I am thankful that God is always there even in a school where he is not aknowledged... I am thankful for other teachers in the school who come by to encourage me... I am thankful for parents of my students who have encouraged me... I am thankful for an old friend that I can pray with every Wednesday because that is keeping me sane... I am thankful that God is trying to build character in me through difficulty...
The thing I am struggling with the most is how to love someone who does not treat me in a loving manner... how to respond to all the negativity... how to respond to the pain of felt rejection... how can I not respond in like manner... how can I show her the love of Christ?
Fortunately I have one more day to prepare to show love and respect to this person even though it is not what I feel... it is what I must do...
Here is a quote I came accross

"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent."
Marilyn vos Savant

This weekend I have felt defeated by this problem due to a Friday after school occurance... but I can't give up... Monday I will get up and remember that God's strength is sufficient for me...

posted by rayhe @ 9:24 pm 1 comments

Sunday afternoon ponderings...

hello to all who read my blog... perhaps I am just talking to myself but it does help to write things down... so hello to myself at least.
Well student teaching is still going well... Monkey Boy is doing well... I am beginning to see a change in him where he is beginning to want to please me, but he doesn't want to let me know that. I have noticed that he has begun to do exactly what I ask him to do but he won't do it until I am not watching. It is really quite interesting.
This week we have parent teacher conferences and fall break. As a result students will only be at school on Monday and Tuesday. So we are not doing any of our normal things because they are all based on a traditional five day week. We are reviewing some concepts that we have done before. So Miss Ray has had fun this weekend planning what we are going to do. I am quite excited about tomorrow. All of you should be jealous about the fun my second graders get to have!

Onto my ponderings...
Church this morning was quite interesting. One of the pastors announced his resignation at the beginning of the service because he felt that he no longer met the qualifications for elders because one is that they manage their household well.
Our "head" pastor is currently in Italy speaking at a pastors conference. So one of the other pastors has been preaching. I had only heard him a couple times before, but I had always appreciated what he had to say. This time as he has been preaching the last several weeks I had not been real sure that what he was saying was what the passage meant or even correct. I couldn't really put my finger on it but I was uncomfortable with what was said. My friend that I go with felt the same way... on the way back today we were both wondering what the pastor would think of the sermons. It is not like they were heretical or anything just a lot of fluff which is very unusual in this church.
Today during the sermon I had an interesting thought. It was on the parable of the good samaritan. I began to wonder if this is simply discussing meeting the physical needs of my neighbors or if it is also talking about spiritual needs. It is easy to live in the middle class environment most of us live in and rarely be confronted by physical needs. However, all of us are daily confronted with people who have deep spiritual needs. Is part of being a good samaritan seeking to meet those needs (through sharing the good news)? A quote in a book I am reading supported this notion to some degree. It is from a man who was being helped in the 1800's by a mission in London said, "Religion is all a sham. I'll never believe these people believe my sould will burn in hell for ever and ever. If they do, they must be brutes indeed. Why, if I saw a poor creature under a cart-wheel I'd try to pull him out, but hell you say is worse still. If they believed it we should hear more about it than we do." This man compared sharing the gospel to doing a good deed. The more I think about this concept the more I believe that sharing the good news is probably at the heart of the story of the good samaritan. Why do we usually not share Christ? Because we don't want to risk it. We don't want to be maligned. We don't want to step over the cultural seperation of religion being private. We don't want to get involved in messy, long term relationships with people that are hard to love. In the story the Good Samaritan risked much. He risked rejection by the person he was helping. He risked cultural seperation. He invested into the relationship with his time and money.
Perhaps I am misusing this story... I am not sure this is what is meant... but it was an interesting thought that brought more meaning to a parable I have heard over and over.

Hope all is well with you... think about the good samaritan and let me know what you think...

posted by rayhe @ 3:00 pm 1 comments

my mind...

Hello to all of you out there
Student teaching is still very interesting. I was observed this past week and my professor informed me that I have the best "teacher voice" she has heard in her five years as an education professor. The observation was very helpful and encouraging because I have been struggling in relating to my supervising teacher. I had expressed that in my journal and my professor's goal was to try to find out what else I could do. The bottom line she told me was that I just need to ask my supervising teacher more questions. Sounds easy enough... but I am really struggling with what to ask. I don't really have any questions. I have been trying to come up with good legit questions and can't really.... So if you have any good questions that you can come up with let me know.

In other news... I think I am making progress with my relationship with my "monkey in the closet" student. He is beginning to respect me and respond to my instructions. This week all the student teachers from my school were required to go to an ACSI conference (Association of Christian Schools International from whom we recieve one of our certifications after graduation). At the conference I attended a seminar on working with the strong willed child. It was an encouragment because according to them many of the things I was doing were exactly what I needed to do. The speaker gave several suggestions of other techniques to reach the student. I have hope that I am going to reach him. In addition my professor after observing is working on suggestions for what I can do. She knows that I have been struggling with him and a couple other boys and after watching the class she honestly had no idea what to say so she is thinking about it and we will have a date to talk soon.

There isn't really much else going on around here besides working on my senior project and thinking about different things entirely to much... An article that I was given made me think a lot. It helped put some pieces of life and Christianity into place but for every piece it helped put in place it displaced several others. So right now my brain is just going around and around issues trying to figure things out.... Moral of the story... don't accept reading material from a person who is smarter than you who wants you to think... they just might succeed in making you think...

wow can I just say that I have spent to much time in a second grade class room. As I wrote that last sentence I was thinking about what made the I sound in various words (that is what we studied in phonics this past week) the igh pattern is something few of my kids picked up on... but we will still work on it.

Well I could keep writing forever today... but I will leave all of you in peace and not torment your brains... Perhaps all of you will live out your days in sanity... I am afraid I am a lost cause :)
Have a blessed day!

posted by rayhe @ 1:16 pm 1 comments

Why I love teaching

Well last week was just rough... There were a lot of reasons for it students misbehaving (one really, really badly!), tensions in teacher relationships, and a lot of other little things. Honestly I was kinda thinking I was a little crazy for wanting to do this for the rest of the life. But then today reminded me why I want to do this.
It all began this morning when one of my students decided it would be fun to bang his pencils together all morning. Well eventually I told him he could spend some time with me banging pencils during noon recess. Well when recess time came along he met me in the library (where all the second grade teachers meet to discuss what is going on). I had him sit on the carpet and told him to bang the carpet for five minutes without stopping. After about two minutes he stopped and complained that his arms were hurting. I said "oh my I guess we are going to have to start the time over because you stopped. Keep banging for five minutes without stopping. I am sure it is hurting your arms but I played the drums for awhile and I used to do that for 30 minutes with drum sticks so I know it won't kill you. While your doing it think about how much your banging your pencils hurts me and the rest of the class." This same scene occured a couple times. Finally he banged his pencil for five minutes straight and I told him he could go out to recess. Before he left I asked him if he was going to be banging his pencils anymore. He gave me a look of horror and shook his head no. Then I asked him if he remembered what would happen if he did it again. He replied, "I will have to do it for ten minutes." Satisfied that I had made my point and he understood I told him he could go outside and if he was a nice classmate he would inform the other students that they probably should not bang their pencils anymore as the consequences are not very pleasant. Well when the students came in from recess one of the students banged his pencil. I immeadiately looked at the recess pencil banger and asked him if he could explain to the student why that was not a good idea. He did and I did not hear another pencil bang the rest of the day!

Well the other funny thing that happened happened as the students came in from recess. My trouble maker from last week came in well after the rest of the class which means he had misbehaved somehow during recess. I asked him what he had done. He refused to tell me for quite awhile. Finally he told me. Then he lay down on the floor in the hallway, where we were talking, and refused to talk to me anymore as he rolled around. I quickly decided to leave him there since he was right outside my classroom and go teach because I was pretty confident he would come in. Sure enough he came into the classroom a few minutes later. When he came in he climbed into the closet/cupboard where their backpacks hang. The whole class looked at me wondering what I would do. I chose to ignore him and made a general announcement that we were going to do math and ignore the closet. Well soon enough we began to hear monkey sounds coming from the closet. That was to much and the class lost it. All of them were giggling. I felt like just breaking down and laughing so I went towards the closet (so I was facing away from the class) and composed myself. I then turned around with my best "teacher face" and said in my "teacher voice" that is not funny. I then turned back around to open the closet door. I saw his little chubby body curled up in the cupboard and just about lost myself to laughter. So I had to close the closet doors to collect myself so he wouldn't know I was finding this funny. I collected myself, opened the doors back up and told him he had to quit making noise. Then I turned around and continued to teach the class. Soon I saw the boy reaching into his cubby to get his gym shoes out. I turned and told him that the only students going to gym were the students in my class. I calmly continued that I was not sure if he was in my class because he wasn't doing math. "However, if you would like to be in my class and join us doing math I am sure you can go to gym with us." He quickly went back to his seat and got to work. One battle won with the kid! Later as part of math we had to color a pattern (so the pattern was more obvious) so I asked if anyone would let me color with them. This boy quickly raised his hand. So I went over and colored with him.

This post is dedicated to Dr. Bowling (an ed prof here who was my inspiration for today)
"Deep down inside young people want to please their teachers"
Dr Bowling
Last night during a class discussion on classroom managment

Hope all of you see the humor in this day that I did. I think I just have been so stressed I needed to laugh. And although this day was somewhat chaotic it was funny and is now even funnier to look back on. And you just got two stories from the day... Have a great one... and think about being a teacher!

posted by rayhe @ 8:11 pm 1 comments